In my new attempts to lose weight I decided that I am going to become one of those crazy exercise people that get all buff and sexy and even though they have never ever been fat before, miraculously have no extra skin from when they were fat. I contemplate which activity I am going to start to form my new hot mommy body. I decide running is it. Every time I see people outside running I always think "wow, they look so athletic and fit." So why not? I can do this. I am only mildly out of shape. I mean, I only pant slightly from walking up one flight of stairs so running should be no problem. Night comes and I tell my husband I am going on the treadmill for a run. I put on my clothes and shoes and look over and my dog is giving me this look. Back in the day when I was active I would come home and put on my shoes and walk her so she knows what the tennis shoes mean. I couldn't disappoint her so I decided I was going to run outside instead. It was a beautiful night and I was ready. I take my iPod with a special playlist just for my workouts and I am ready to go!The dog is freaking out - running back and forth in the yard because she hasn't been for a good walk in a long time. I open the gate, turn on my music and go.
8PM: Start running
8:02PM: Hey, this isn't so bad. I can do this! I feel empowered, fit and active. Look at all these people driving by watching me and thinking about how athletic I look. I am amazing!
8:03PM: I am getting a little tired and out of breath but I can keep going. Focus on the breathing, focus on the breathing.
8:04PM: Holy crap, how long has it been? Only 4 minutes? Are you kidding me?
8:05PM: Oh my gosh I think I might be dying. I can't breath. Is it possible to die of running? I am hyperventilating and I can't move my feet anymore. Is it normal to have coughing fits like this? I think I have just developed exercised induced asthma.
8:06PM: I need to walk now. I mean, who can really run 2 miles right off the bat? I am just going to walk for 2 minutes and then start running again.
8:08: Ok, maybe wait 2 more minutes to start running again. I should probably make sure I can breath again before I start up.
8:10: Walk back into house. Wow what a workout! I am sweating like a pig and for some reason this cough hasn't gone away. Maybe running isn't the best thing for me.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The Not So Lean Pocket
Day 2:
I went to Borders the other night and bought yet another Low Fat cookbook. I now have somewhere around 35 (well really like 4 but still). And I also have a monthly a subscription to Cooking Light magazine. Shouldn't that make me thin just by association? I have tried some of the recipes but what they don't tell you is that they become less "low fat" when you have four servings at one time. I get that Americans eat larger portions than they are supposed to but in what universe is a tiny ramekin of food supposed to be substantial? In reality, who can only eat 1 serving of something?
Today I decided to take a frozen lean pocket type concoction to work for lunch. It looks quite scrumptious on the packaging and a substantial size. I open it and find a mere measly flatbread snack, not a lunch. It's like buying Lean Pockets because the package promises a low calorie meal. And you open up a box of and find the label is only referring to one Lean Pocket being 300 calories, not both. Who the hell gets full off of one 1 lean pocket? I mean really, is there anyone who just eats the one and saves the other for another day when they feel like eating freezer burned goodness? It is no longer lean when you eat the two of them. Now they are just mocking me for being greedy AND fat. What kind of twisted people work for food labeling companies? What the label should really say is "Faux Lean Pockets. You will remain fat if you eat ALL contents within the box but you might have a small chance at losing weight if you can resist that extra pocket and settle for the mere snack the first one will provide." After my "lunch" I was starving still. I was forced to buy a bag of pretzels and consume other unhealthy snacks out of spite. Damn lean pockets. There goes today.
I was going to go to the gym tonight to the Bootcamp class but it didn't work out with my "sitting on the couch schedule." But, I did decide that instead I was going to go on the treadmill. When that didn't happen I promised myself I would take the dog for a walk. And to kick things up a notch I decided I was even going to jog to burn off those extra calories I had tonight due to toddler cookies being quite tasty and conveniently bite sized. So after I got out of the front gate I slowed myself down to a fast walk. Overall it was a good workout. I sweat and coughed a lot which means I burned calories. Overall, mildly satisfied with my efforts today but I am really feeling optimistic that Thursday is my day to start eating better.
I went to Borders the other night and bought yet another Low Fat cookbook. I now have somewhere around 35 (well really like 4 but still). And I also have a monthly a subscription to Cooking Light magazine. Shouldn't that make me thin just by association? I have tried some of the recipes but what they don't tell you is that they become less "low fat" when you have four servings at one time. I get that Americans eat larger portions than they are supposed to but in what universe is a tiny ramekin of food supposed to be substantial? In reality, who can only eat 1 serving of something?
Today I decided to take a frozen lean pocket type concoction to work for lunch. It looks quite scrumptious on the packaging and a substantial size. I open it and find a mere measly flatbread snack, not a lunch. It's like buying Lean Pockets because the package promises a low calorie meal. And you open up a box of and find the label is only referring to one Lean Pocket being 300 calories, not both. Who the hell gets full off of one 1 lean pocket? I mean really, is there anyone who just eats the one and saves the other for another day when they feel like eating freezer burned goodness? It is no longer lean when you eat the two of them. Now they are just mocking me for being greedy AND fat. What kind of twisted people work for food labeling companies? What the label should really say is "Faux Lean Pockets. You will remain fat if you eat ALL contents within the box but you might have a small chance at losing weight if you can resist that extra pocket and settle for the mere snack the first one will provide." After my "lunch" I was starving still. I was forced to buy a bag of pretzels and consume other unhealthy snacks out of spite. Damn lean pockets. There goes today.
I was going to go to the gym tonight to the Bootcamp class but it didn't work out with my "sitting on the couch schedule." But, I did decide that instead I was going to go on the treadmill. When that didn't happen I promised myself I would take the dog for a walk. And to kick things up a notch I decided I was even going to jog to burn off those extra calories I had tonight due to toddler cookies being quite tasty and conveniently bite sized. So after I got out of the front gate I slowed myself down to a fast walk. Overall it was a good workout. I sweat and coughed a lot which means I burned calories. Overall, mildly satisfied with my efforts today but I am really feeling optimistic that Thursday is my day to start eating better.
Day 1 of the Fat Momma Chronicles
Day 1:
I woke up this morning feeling energized and great! I told myself today was the day I was going to start my healthy eating. No more sugar, no more white carbs like regular bread and white rice. I even brought healthy snacks with me to work. I had a mild breakfast and then came lunch. I forgot I was eating with a vendor. So, after my bag of chips (they were the POP's chips does that help?), my large turkey sub sandwich on white Italian bread and 2 kinds of side salad I was feeling a little less optimistic about my day. But, I hadn't eaten sugar which was great. I came home still feeling ok and my husband says "Babe, you know what we forgot yesterday (our 1st anniversary)? To eat the cake from our wedding." I had to oblige this request, it WAS our first anniversary (yesterday did I mention). Yum...red velvet cake is still surprisingly delicious 1 year later. So instead of beating myself up too much I thought I could still redeem myself by hitting up the 8PM kickboxing class.
It is amazing how uncoordinated one person could be. You really have no idea how ridiculous uncoordinated kickboxing can look until you are forced into a room surrounded on all sides by mirrors. But thankfully those mirrors are there or else I wouldn't be able to see every square inch of my fat jiggling as I attempt to do jumping jacks while kicking and punching at the same time. I feel like it's important to look like an epileptic moose while exercising in public just to get the maximum effect of the workout. 20 minutes in I am drenched in sweat. Each time I finally get the moves she changes them and keeps telling us to kick higher and punch harder. I was about to tell her to stand in front of me because accidents can happen in a kickboxing class. But I was sweating profusely and feeling great about how hard I was working when I look to my right and a 65 year old, 4 foot Asian woman is kicking next to me and smiles - not a drop of sweat on her face. After 40 minutes I decide I might drop dead in this class. But I pull through to the end and come home. The little Asian woman had to carry me to my car but I did pull through. I guess there is always tomorrow.
I woke up this morning feeling energized and great! I told myself today was the day I was going to start my healthy eating. No more sugar, no more white carbs like regular bread and white rice. I even brought healthy snacks with me to work. I had a mild breakfast and then came lunch. I forgot I was eating with a vendor. So, after my bag of chips (they were the POP's chips does that help?), my large turkey sub sandwich on white Italian bread and 2 kinds of side salad I was feeling a little less optimistic about my day. But, I hadn't eaten sugar which was great. I came home still feeling ok and my husband says "Babe, you know what we forgot yesterday (our 1st anniversary)? To eat the cake from our wedding." I had to oblige this request, it WAS our first anniversary (yesterday did I mention). Yum...red velvet cake is still surprisingly delicious 1 year later. So instead of beating myself up too much I thought I could still redeem myself by hitting up the 8PM kickboxing class.
It is amazing how uncoordinated one person could be. You really have no idea how ridiculous uncoordinated kickboxing can look until you are forced into a room surrounded on all sides by mirrors. But thankfully those mirrors are there or else I wouldn't be able to see every square inch of my fat jiggling as I attempt to do jumping jacks while kicking and punching at the same time. I feel like it's important to look like an epileptic moose while exercising in public just to get the maximum effect of the workout. 20 minutes in I am drenched in sweat. Each time I finally get the moves she changes them and keeps telling us to kick higher and punch harder. I was about to tell her to stand in front of me because accidents can happen in a kickboxing class. But I was sweating profusely and feeling great about how hard I was working when I look to my right and a 65 year old, 4 foot Asian woman is kicking next to me and smiles - not a drop of sweat on her face. After 40 minutes I decide I might drop dead in this class. But I pull through to the end and come home. The little Asian woman had to carry me to my car but I did pull through. I guess there is always tomorrow.
The Beginning of the Fat Momma Chronicles
So I have decided to write a blog. My therapist says I need to engage in more kinds of activities outside of my family so here is my first attempt. And for the topic of my blog...I will be chronicling my weight loss adventures; yes the famous exploits of a fat lady trying to lose weight. I haven't actually started losing weight though so we will call this first blog the introduction to me. In fact, I am gaining weight...rapidly. As I am writing I have probably gained 3lbs cause that's what seems to happen to me. It takes me a week to lose a pound and all I have to do is watch the Food Network to gain it back.
About me: I am 31 and overweight. I have been all my life. I was always the fat kid in the corner with no friends. Sigh, poor me. But one day, after feeling sorry for myself for like 27 years I decided it was time to do something about my weight. Very slowly I started working out and losing weight. It didn't come off fast and it wasn't easy but it came off. I attempted a number of diets and each worked a little until I got bored and went off of them. But I would never gain the weight back. I would just try something new later when I was ready and keep the weight loss going. About 2 years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I started running, I was only 25lbs overweight, I had lost 100lbs, I looked amazing and felt better than I had ever felt in my life. And then I met my now husband, got pregnant, gained 50lbs during the pregnancy and well, here I am once again. But this time its different. I can't remember how to lose weight anymore and it's much harder than I remember. I am a full-time working mom and a wife. After I come home and take care of the baby, when is there time to make and eat dinner, clean, (yes the husband helps with both) spend time with my husband, workout and still get to bed before midnight? It's a lot harder now and I am struggling. I hate how I look but at the same time it's hard to find the motivation I once had to look better and to feel better. Especially when I have the most amazing man who loves me for who I am (even if I don't). I feel there must be women out there who can relate and might find a little solace and hopefully have a couple of laughs at my expense. And if you aren't one of them, and you lost all of your baby weight in a week and look better after your 13 kids than you ever have, please don't leave comments. I can be a violent person. So, I hope you enjoy.
About me: I am 31 and overweight. I have been all my life. I was always the fat kid in the corner with no friends. Sigh, poor me. But one day, after feeling sorry for myself for like 27 years I decided it was time to do something about my weight. Very slowly I started working out and losing weight. It didn't come off fast and it wasn't easy but it came off. I attempted a number of diets and each worked a little until I got bored and went off of them. But I would never gain the weight back. I would just try something new later when I was ready and keep the weight loss going. About 2 years ago I was in the best shape of my life. I started running, I was only 25lbs overweight, I had lost 100lbs, I looked amazing and felt better than I had ever felt in my life. And then I met my now husband, got pregnant, gained 50lbs during the pregnancy and well, here I am once again. But this time its different. I can't remember how to lose weight anymore and it's much harder than I remember. I am a full-time working mom and a wife. After I come home and take care of the baby, when is there time to make and eat dinner, clean, (yes the husband helps with both) spend time with my husband, workout and still get to bed before midnight? It's a lot harder now and I am struggling. I hate how I look but at the same time it's hard to find the motivation I once had to look better and to feel better. Especially when I have the most amazing man who loves me for who I am (even if I don't). I feel there must be women out there who can relate and might find a little solace and hopefully have a couple of laughs at my expense. And if you aren't one of them, and you lost all of your baby weight in a week and look better after your 13 kids than you ever have, please don't leave comments. I can be a violent person. So, I hope you enjoy.
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